Broken Eve Backstory Critique

Alright, let's critique the story now. If you haven't read my first review: Broken Eve Critique/Analysis I recommend you check it out before reading this. 
Original link: broken eve backstory
Here we go! I will be making my comics between *'s. 


Eve has always been short and frail.... 
YET she was still loved by her peers and was popular..... 
it all jst happen on normal school day......
"hey! eve! wanna have a sleep over at my house" said her her friend
"sure" eve said calmly 
"YAY!" she whispered violently" 
"soi come to my house thonight at 8! we will be watching movies and doing each others nails"
"ok" said eve exited 
*I suppose this is a good start. It has a setting, and introduces the characters. But, the whole whispering violently thing... eh... I'm gonna hold off on grammar critique though. It's annoying that she's loved by all and super popular, because it's terribly cliche, but okay* 
but something had always made her paranoid, she had a stalker.
she had only caught a quick glimpse of him, and from what she saw 
he was only a boy but he looked kind of ugly kind of not he had a white hoodie 
and damaged hair 
And many murders have been popping up here and everywhere and they sqay that the suspect slits their victims throats 
and eve thinks that may be him..... 
*I SWEAR TO GOD IF THIS IS JEFF I AM GOING TO FUCKING SCREAM  *

eve had been always abused by her fat dad who shye hated 
"dad im going to my friends house"
"no you are NOT YOU LITTLE FUCKING BITCH" her dad yelled
and then he threw a bottle at her head and she fell over and 
hit it and broke her arm
"ok bye dad!" eve and then ran out the door 
"I CANT WAIT FOR THE SLEEPOVER" eve yelled as she ran down the street to her friends house
she knocked on her door and heard something comment from the bushes...

*HOLD THE FUCK UP. HER DAD JUST BROKE HER FUCKING ARM AND SHE RUNS TO A SLEEPOVER?? BITCH NO. 1. ABUSE IS A SERIOUS SUBJECT AND FOR THOSE WHO HAVE DEALT WITH IT KNOW HOW FUCKING HARD IT IS. IT IS NOT THIS SIMPLE. IT IS COMPLICATED AND FULL OF EMOTION. OH MY GOD.  *
she looked..
and it was.....
"HI EVE" eve screemed 
"BITCH WHAT THE FUCK" eve screemed as she accidentally knocked millie out

*Okay this is completely unnecessary* 

"ok so come in!" millie said in an exited voice
"ok" eve said 
and then they started and watching the movie and eating
until they heard on the window a knock in 
"whats that?" millie asked
"idk ill check" eve said 

*WAIT. EVE JUST KNOCKED MILLIE OUT BUT SHE'S SAYING TO COME IN? WHILE EVE HAS A BROKEN FUCKING ARM?!?! WHAT EVEN? Also, if this is Jeff knocking on the window I am going to be mad.  *

Eve supidly msiplaced her legs outside window and fell down into pavements and broke her back.
as she ran back upstairst to window, she saw mille dead on table with her throat slit
"oh my fucking god! what!"
and then jeff the killer appears and whispers 

*THIS BITCH BROKE HER BACK HOW IS SHE RUNNING DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HUMAN BODIES FUNCTION AT ALL?! Alright. That's it. This character has gone from a 5/10 to a solid 2. I'm disappointed, really. She had a good chance. This happened too suddenly, there was like no build up to the action whatsoever. Come on.  *

"i have been waiting for you"
but then he slits her throat and then takes her to slender
and she become a proxy and works for slenderman 

*ALRIGHT. I am so irritated. This had no buildup, no suspense, nothing! Why would he kill her and take her to Slenderman?! Wouldn't he want her alive?! Why does she have to be related to the well known Creepypastas?! Bruh. This character is terrible. I'm disappointed and thought this would actually be okay. Congratulations.*